Sunday, October 31, 2010

Listening to Stories and Some Advice

Chapter 12 of He’s Just Not That Into You is titled “Don’t Listen to These Stories.”

What stories? 

You know. . .those stories about the couple who got married when SHE asked him out and SHE proposed.  Or where he started out as a big selfish jerk, but then he got better.  The stories where he was married to somebody else, and the girlfriend persisted and now they’re happily married with three kids and living in a McMansion in the suburbs. 

Those stories may happen.  But they are the exception.  Most of the time when He’s Just Not That Into You, the story ends with a broken heart.  The WOMAN has a broken heart. We deserve better than that. 

Big jerks don’t usually turn into nice guys.  Waiting for him to get divorced so he can marry you is a bad idea.  The date who drinks too much, turns into the alcoholic husband who lands in jail.   Don’t go there, friends.

Speaking as one who has been there, done that, and gotten an ugly t-shirt out of it, I have some advice.  
  • Don't rush to get married just because you're 23 and everybody you went to high school with is already married.  
  • If you see any hint of an attitude or habit that you really don't like, think twice and then twice more before settling down with this guy.  
  • And finally, if you marry some guy and he changes overnight, divorce him immediately. 
That last piece of advice will probably shock and horrify some of you.  But it's what I would tell a daughter or a beloved sister.  My "romance" with that man was all a lie.  My marriage was entered into because I was deceived.  I should have ended my farce of a marriage long ago.

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