Saturday, November 24, 2012

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

The End... And a New Beginning

Today is the 3rd anniversary of when my divorce was filed, so I'm checking in here.  I'm sure that all 14 of my followers have been wondering what's going on since I simply haven't been around.  You'll be happy to know that I've been moving on, making new friends, and finding new activities to keep me busy.

The angst of dealing with a narcissist has mostly dissipated since I don't have any regular dealings with my ex-husband any more.  If I recall correctly, the last time he saw the boys was in May.  

After a great deal of thought, I have decided that it's time to formally end writing on this blog and begin a new one.  I'm still trying to get up to speed with the technical side of things, but my new blog is called The New Elizabeth.  I'll be back to post a link once I get the blog up and running.

Thanks for reading and following along in my journey.

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Happy Divorce-aversary to Me!

I'm still alive. Really.

Yesterday was the one-year anniversary of my divorce. They (whoever they are), say that the first year is always the hardest after a major life change. I mostly agree with them. I feel like I've been marking time waiting for this year to end.

I was anticipating the end of the first year with great joy. I'm so happy to be free of my ex-husband. But on the day before the divorce-aversary I ended up feeling really, really sad.

When I got married I expected it to end when one of us died. I wanted to be the little old lady walking hand-in-hand with a little old man and smiling at the antics of our great-grandchildren.

It will never happen.

My life is not what I planned. I know that God isn't surprised, but I sure am.

How did I "celebrate" my divorce-aversary? This year I treated myself to a spa day. I had a facial AND a massage AND a salt scrub seaweed mud bath thingy. I felt totally pampered. It was a good day after all.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Ha ha ha ha haaaa

You won't believe what happened to me today....

Some random dude at the Whole Foods Market asked for my phone number. Bwaaa haaa haaa haaa!  

When I first walked into the store, he told me I looked familiar and asked if my name was Cindy. I said no. Later on, when I was checking out, I ended up behind the same guy in the line. I couldn't help myself and asked him how tall he is. The guy said that he's 4'30".

I guess the fact that I was able to do the mental math impressed him and as he was getting finished, he introduced himself asked for my number. I gave it to him (mainly because I have these cute little cards that only have my name, cell phone number, and email address).

I refrained from telling him that I have an insane ex-husband, more children than a normal person could imagine, and that I'm probably ten years older than he is. I'll probably never hear from him, but it made me feel good. I laughed all the way home. 

Tee hee.

Friday, November 25, 2011

I knew this was coming

There's an issue that I knew was going to pop up at some point. And this problem has arrived.

It's about that whole "Chaste" thing. Yes, I am still living a lifestyle of purity. It's just that I have started to notice that I am a woman again.

To be perfectly honest, I miss sex. Yeah. A lot. Some days are worse than others.

During the last several years of my marriage, my sex life was pretty ho-hum. When the relationship is bad, you don't exactly want to spend a lot of time doing that with the jerk. I was depressed. And I had some health problems that were causing a lot of joint pain and muscle aches.

Today, my health is better than it has been in years. I'm not in constant pain any more. I'm no longer depressed. In fact, I'm pretty cheerful most of the time. I think it helps that I haven't heard a peep out of my ex-husband since the end of September. So now my sex drive is back, but I'm single.

I know that my children are watching how I handle my sexuality. I always taught them that sex is a wonderful gift, but it's for marriage. They expect me to practice what I preach. I expect me to practice what I preach.

I hope to marry again someday which means that dating is in my future.

I'm already thinking about where the boundaries should be.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Six Months

As of today, I have been divorced for six months.


Three years ago I was in a terrible marriage. In October of 2008 my then-husband asked me to meet him at our marriage counselor's office because he had something he wanted to tell me. When I got there, he told me he was moving out of the house.

That first separation was short, but when he came back home the marriage descended into a hellish pit. By the time I asked him to move out again in August of 2009 I was a wreck. I was on two anti-depressants and barely surviving.

Today, I feel like I have been given an incredible gift--freedom. Freedom to explore who I really am and what I really want out of life.

You know that moment when you jump off the high diving board? You go down to the depths and push off the bottom of the pool and eventually pop up into the air and can breathe again? I was unwillingly pushed off, but I have survived the journey back to the surface.

I am free.

I am happy.

I can breathe again.

I'm so very thankful to be here.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Musings on dating

Hi, Friends!

I bet you've been wondering what I'm up to. I've been getting the kids settled into going to a traditional school for the first time in their lives, I've started going to church, and I've been making new friends.

Part of my road to healing has been joining a Divorce Care group. This week's session was on New Relationships. The information presented was really eye-opening for me. Most second marriages fail within the first five years. The statistics are even worse for third and fourth marriages.

The video showed an interview with a couple who married shortly after their divorces were final. They went from never having an argument while dating, to having a hellish marriage. Their marriage survived but it sounds like it was awful.

After our meeting a group of us went out to eat, and I started talking to my friend who helps facilitate the group. I didn't realize that she had been divorced twice. J met her second husband in church. Her children and Christian friends thought it was a good idea for her marry the man. Even so, the marriage was horrible and she ended up going through a second divorce.

Up until last night I thought I was just about ready to start dating.

Nope. Not happening.

That cute guy in the divorce group? I've mentally moved him into The Friend Zone. That less cute, but still attractive guy? Buddies. Strictly Buddies.

I've realized that I'm just not in a place to start dating. Sigh. On the other hand, that makes it easier to maintain my position as The Chaste Divorcee.