Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Autopsy of a Marriage – Part 4

Chapter 4 of He’s Just Not That Into You is titled “He’s Just Not That Into You if He’s Not Having Sex With You” and chapter 5 is “He’s Just Not That Into You if He’s Having Sex With Someone Else.”

Oh, dear.  This blog is about being chaste.  I try not to dwell on sex.  It’s not like I’m going to be having any for the foreseeable future. 

I guess I should plunge right in, though.  My soon-to-be-ex-husband, like most men, likes sex.  When we were married we had sex.  He likes sex so much than the first time he left me, he asked for sex the night before he moved out.  When he told me the next day that he was leaving, I was furious.  I felt used.  I didn’t feel that having sex meant that he was into me.  He wanted to have sex because he is all about himself.  That's why we call the man "Himself."

The second time we separated, it was at my request.  We hadn't had sex for nearly a week.  I didn’t feel used.

Right now, I know he’s not that into me because he’s having sex with someone else—the Dreaded Other Woman.  ;)

I have very mixed feelings about the fact that he is committing adultery with the other woman.  Most of our children don’t know about it.  The ones who do are completely horrified.  I did not raise my children to have a casual attitude towards sex.  I don’t know what effect this will have on them in the future, and I’m very sad for our children. 

On the other hand, he’d had an ongoing emotional affair with this woman for years.  He was already unfaithful.  Having sex with her was just another step down that path.  

The day that I knew for certain that he was having sex with her, I felt horrible and weird.  

The next day. . . .well on that day, my friends. . . . I felt FREE. 


  1. I do love Greg Behrendt's book. It has so much useful advice that would have served me well as a younger woman.

    Adultery is a terrible, terrible thing. I'm so sorry you had to endure it.