Friday, September 30, 2011

Six Months

As of today, I have been divorced for six months.


Three years ago I was in a terrible marriage. In October of 2008 my then-husband asked me to meet him at our marriage counselor's office because he had something he wanted to tell me. When I got there, he told me he was moving out of the house.

That first separation was short, but when he came back home the marriage descended into a hellish pit. By the time I asked him to move out again in August of 2009 I was a wreck. I was on two anti-depressants and barely surviving.

Today, I feel like I have been given an incredible gift--freedom. Freedom to explore who I really am and what I really want out of life.

You know that moment when you jump off the high diving board? You go down to the depths and push off the bottom of the pool and eventually pop up into the air and can breathe again? I was unwillingly pushed off, but I have survived the journey back to the surface.

I am free.

I am happy.

I can breathe again.

I'm so very thankful to be here.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Musings on dating

Hi, Friends!

I bet you've been wondering what I'm up to. I've been getting the kids settled into going to a traditional school for the first time in their lives, I've started going to church, and I've been making new friends.

Part of my road to healing has been joining a Divorce Care group. This week's session was on New Relationships. The information presented was really eye-opening for me. Most second marriages fail within the first five years. The statistics are even worse for third and fourth marriages.

The video showed an interview with a couple who married shortly after their divorces were final. They went from never having an argument while dating, to having a hellish marriage. Their marriage survived but it sounds like it was awful.

After our meeting a group of us went out to eat, and I started talking to my friend who helps facilitate the group. I didn't realize that she had been divorced twice. J met her second husband in church. Her children and Christian friends thought it was a good idea for her marry the man. Even so, the marriage was horrible and she ended up going through a second divorce.

Up until last night I thought I was just about ready to start dating.

Nope. Not happening.

That cute guy in the divorce group? I've mentally moved him into The Friend Zone. That less cute, but still attractive guy? Buddies. Strictly Buddies.

I've realized that I'm just not in a place to start dating. Sigh. On the other hand, that makes it easier to maintain my position as The Chaste Divorcee.