Friday, October 22, 2010

Autopsy of a Marriage – Part 3

Chapter Two of He’s Just Not That Into You is titled “He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Not Calling You.”  Well now, when ex and I were dating he did call me regularly.  Of course, those were the days before cell phones.  I know that to younger people the notion of living without a phone in your pocket is absolutely horrifying.  But that’s how we lived in the long-ago days when I was young.

Pre-marital calling  (sounds a little racy!):  The man called me in the evenings after he got off work. In my opinion, his phone calling habits during dating and engagement fit in with what was normal for that time and set of circumstances.

Early Marital calling habits:  This is where it got ugly in a hurry.  When my ex and I got married, he worked for his parents' business.  When I needed to get in touch with him, I had to phone my mother-in-law to tell her I needed to speak to my husband.  She would page him and then he would call in the office and get the message.  Talk about HUMILIATING!  I hated it.  I quickly learned that I was only allowed to make those calls if it was an emergency.  And my mil-in-law was the gatekeeper who decided what was really an emergency.

End of Marriage calling habits:  He wasn’t calling.  Except to tell me that he was on his way home from work with the implication that dinner had better be on the table when he stepped through the door.  When he went out of town for work he would go for days without calling.  He just wasn’t that into me.

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