Saturday, October 23, 2010

I'm going to a party!


Tonight I'm going to go to a party as a single person for the first time in twenty-seven years.  It feels very strange.  I'm suddenly worried about what I will wear and how I will look to strangers.  It will be a mixed group of singles and married couples and most of them will be strangers.  Eeek!

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Last night I walked into my kitchen and had the oddest feelings.  I wondered who I was and how did I end up in this house.  I had lived in my previous house, the one I still own with my husband, for over twenty years.

Now, I live in another house at the end of a lovely tree-lined street.  
Now, I'm not the married woman I have been for so long.  
Now, I don't know what comes next.  

Even though my marriage was difficult and horrible, it was a familiar difficult and horrible.  Today, I feel excited and energized about the future, but I also feel nervous and worried about the future.  Part of me feels like a very young teenager wondering what I will be and do when I grow up.  Ten years ago I would never have guessed that I'd feel this way again.


  1. Have fun tonight!
    I tell myself people want to like me. That helps me feel more relaxed around new people.

  2. Thanks for the suggestion. I'll try it.

  3. I had GREAT fun! There was a lovely group of people and we talked and talked. And then we ate and talked some more.