Tonight I'm going to go to a party as a single person for the first time in twenty-seven years. It feels very strange. I'm suddenly worried about what I will wear and how I will look to strangers. It will be a mixed group of singles and married couples and most of them will be strangers. Eeek!
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Last night I walked into my kitchen and had the oddest feelings. I wondered who I was and how did I end up in this house. I had lived in my previous house, the one I still own with my husband, for over twenty years.
Now, I live in another house at the end of a lovely tree-lined street.
Now, I'm not the married woman I have been for so long.
Now, I don't know what comes next.
Even though my marriage was difficult and horrible, it was a familiar difficult and horrible. Today, I feel excited and energized about the future, but I also feel nervous and worried about the future. Part of me feels like a very young teenager wondering what I will be and do when I grow up. Ten years ago I would never have guessed that I'd feel this way again.
Have fun tonight!
ReplyDeleteI tell myself people want to like me. That helps me feel more relaxed around new people.
Thanks for the suggestion. I'll try it.
ReplyDeleteSo, how was it?
ReplyDeleteI had GREAT fun! There was a lovely group of people and we talked and talked. And then we ate and talked some more.
ReplyDelete